Giving Thanks, Giving Back, and Giving a Disclaimer

The disclaimer is, I realized that I probably sound preachy a lot, and I don't mean to. This blog is mostly just me talking to myself, and trying to put my thoughts in some kind of order, and trying to make some sense out of things that seemingly make none. And if I preach, I am really preaching to myself, and not to any innocent bystanders that might accidentally be reading, because I am fully aware that I know jack-all, fundamentally.

With that in mind, I turn to our upcoming holiday, first and foremost, of course, with a sense of how blessed I am, primarily in the bright and glorious souls that light my life like the candles on a birthday cake. God has blessed me with incredible abundance, surrounded me with beauty and finally, peace, and sent me messengers of love in every imaginable form. I think of people, wandering in and out of my life, and my animal friends, and the music that is my direct connection to myself. And I sit here on my farm, watching the snowflakes meander and then fall, like toddlers just learning to walk, and I do know, truly, how very very special this lifetime is. I have no idea what will come next, or what came before, but I know that right now, my life is indescribably beautiful.

And I think of my struggles of this past year, so shocking and terrible to me, and of how many people would have gladly traded places with me, even at the most terrifying moments, because their daily struggles are so much harder, and of a much greater duration, and it is so humbling.

And while I am on the subject of thanksgiving, I want to bring up the related subject of forgiving. I still do not know what forgiveness really is. I asked my ex-husband, Tommaso, to define it for me, which is what I do whenever I can't figure something out, much to the annoyance of his girlfriend, who thinks that ex-wives should spend their lives in Timbuktoo or the North Pole, far from modern forms of communication, including carrier pigeons and smoke signals.

Tommaso's answer was typically brilliant, and beautiful: Forgiveness, he said, is saying, "That doesn't belong to me anymore."

And for once, I'm not going to get all chatty Cathy and interpret that statement in my own image. I think it stands pretty solidly on its own two feet.

So while we are giving thanks, and just generally giving, which 'tis the season to do, after all, it might be an opportune time to give back to the Universe all those ugly sweaters (metaphorically speaking) we don't need anymore, and just hang on to the really good ones, that we just can't quite part with, and let the Wheel of Karma do its job.

What you cause another to experience, you will, in turn, experience. That's Karmic law.

So even though I promised not to interpret, what that says to me is, I can't make anything OK, just like I can't make something a bigger deal than it really is. I can't protect anybody else from the consequences of their actions, just like I can't protect myself. Karma is the ultimate role reversal. So forgiveness, ultimately, is just lay that burden down. It was never yours.

That's it. Happy Thanksgiving!