Let It Snow, Not!

Yesterday morning we had our first flakes of snow. I texted my Brazilian friend with the news. "The White Shit is here!" That's what she calls it. Brazilians are always beside themselves with joy the first time they see snow and then they wish they hadn't.

She texted me back: I hate the White Shit!

I know she does. Welcome to Ohio, amiga!

People from the warmer climes take our weather as a personal affront. Those of us who were actually born here have the kind of resignation you end up developing for a chronic disease. Yeah, sure, it sucks, but whaddya gonna do?

Of course, I wasn't expecting it to snow QUITE this early. I was thinking the Snow Gods would let us get by until at least November, as a reward for all our sacrificial mowing.

My neighbor actually mowed Sunday in the rain. I thought he'd lost his mind, but now I know: he was trying to outrun the snow. It's not easy, at about 7 mph, but he does have an 8 thousand dollar zero-turn, which is the Rolls-Royce of mowers. Or, he might have been doing something entirely different, like blowing leaves (onto my property, probably). I have no idea why anyone would want to blow leaves. It seems a singularly futile occupation.

I rely for all my lawn and garden care on the deer, the snakes and the wild turkey. I haven't seen much of the wild turkey lately, which tells me Thanksgiving is approaching, so I assume the snakes are breathing a snakey sigh of relief. I haven't seen any since this spring, when I moved in, but I know they're there.

The guy who does my hay, Joe, said a lot of snakes ended up getting stuck in the bales this year. They had to be actually pulled out by hand. He wouldn't do it himself, since he hates snakes, too. You wouldn't think he'd mind after all these years farming but he does. So he got a hired hand to do it, whom I suspect was engaged for the sole purpose of de-snaking the bales. He said the guy doesn't mind. Some people don't.

The deer are still pretty much around, despite the best efforts of the local hunters. They look at the frosted over grass-sicles without enthusiasm but they munch anyway. It's only gonna get worse, deer, so bon appetit!